"Peter," she says, giving him a look, and while still holding his hand, with her other hand she closes the door. They need privacy.
"You have every right to be gunshy and down right scared of me and what you do by my influence. I understand. I make you take actions that are out of your comfort zone. And like me, you are seizing on a sudden opportunity because it is the most right feeling thing to come along in a very long time and you don't want to fuck anything up. No, I get it. I'm there too." Which wasn't what she was intending to say, but needed saying.
She sighs, her gaze softening. "I need to make something abundantly clear. When we were dating before, I didn't consciously realise my influence. I was reckless with your heart and I deeply apologise for that behaviour. I was scared there would come a day where you would stop loving me. I should also also make clear that I never felt anything romantic for Rigby, that SHIELD tech. His appearance simply made me question my choices. I had barely just turned twenty. I had never had a serious, adult relationship prior to you. And the sudden thought of being in a long term relationship that could result in marriage frightened me. I had experienced a lot of life--travelling, seen friends and loved ones die, other acts of violence and human atrocities--but on a social level, I lacked any emotional maturity to be in that sort of relationship with you." She smiles softly. "It's been thirteen years since then, and I know what my very recent track record looks like--being engaged to two different men in the period of six months--I am not going to endanger your heart again. I cannot put you through that again. And should we get married and should we divorce, I will insure to keep things as amicable as possible." Her smile brightens. "And you feel just right. I have no clear explanation for it. I feel like my life would be expansive and fulfilling with you."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2018-09-25 02:19 pm (UTC)"You have every right to be gunshy and down right scared of me and what you do by my influence. I understand. I make you take actions that are out of your comfort zone. And like me, you are seizing on a sudden opportunity because it is the most right feeling thing to come along in a very long time and you don't want to fuck anything up. No, I get it. I'm there too." Which wasn't what she was intending to say, but needed saying.
She sighs, her gaze softening. "I need to make something abundantly clear. When we were dating before, I didn't consciously realise my influence. I was reckless with your heart and I deeply apologise for that behaviour. I was scared there would come a day where you would stop loving me. I should also also make clear that I never felt anything romantic for Rigby, that SHIELD tech. His appearance simply made me question my choices. I had barely just turned twenty. I had never had a serious, adult relationship prior to you. And the sudden thought of being in a long term relationship that could result in marriage frightened me. I had experienced a lot of life--travelling, seen friends and loved ones die, other acts of violence and human atrocities--but on a social level, I lacked any emotional maturity to be in that sort of relationship with you." She smiles softly. "It's been thirteen years since then, and I know what my very recent track record looks like--being engaged to two different men in the period of six months--I am not going to endanger your heart again. I cannot put you through that again. And should we get married and should we divorce, I will insure to keep things as amicable as possible." Her smile brightens. "And you feel just right. I have no clear explanation for it. I feel like my life would be expansive and fulfilling with you."