goawayleavemealone | So it takes him a while

While Kitty orders a full meal of eggs, turkey sausage, toast, and tea.

"That is an accurate summary, yes. And a lot is going through my brain. I thought marrying Piotr was the right thing to do after all of this time. Like we were just delaying the inevitable. I did have unspoken reservations. Things between him and me--it's like a dance he and I always find ourselves in." She knits her brows. "Which is different from you and I. You and I have never been in a rut. While me and Piotr, we are just two people who try to do what we think people expect us to do and yet always seem unhappy and dissatisfied with the results." There, she said it. "It was a whole lot easier when he was dead. I could let him go." She presses her lips together. "But to be up there, hearing the vows. It was surreal. And my entire being was screaming no, this isn't right. This isn't what I want. For twenty years I have been 'his Katya' and no. I don't want to be anymore. Neither of us really know what the other is about. But what I do know, truthfully, I've never been the person he wanted. And I'm okay with that."

She smiles softly at first but the smile starts to grow. "And you're really the only person I can talk with about this. You know the history, you've seen me and you've seen him at our worsts." Piotr was lucky she didn't murder him for the beating he gave to Pete. "You--I don't know why or how, but you've always let me be me with no expectations." She thanks the waiter for her tea and adds cream and sugar. "I know why I reacted the way I did with you, all of those years ago. I was so scared of fucking up one of the best things in my life that I fucked it up. What has happened between me and Piotr is not the same."

Edited 2018-09-24 15:00 (UTC)

He downs the rest of his coffee as he talks, and when the waiter comes back with a refill, he orders eggs, bacon, toast and home fries.

He drums his fingers on the table and sits back, not meeting her eyes. "Kitty." He takes a breath. "You were how old when you met him? What? Thirteen? It's hardly realistic to base a long-lasting relationship off of the feelings of a little girl - one, I might add, that he took advantage of."

He'd nearly shit a brick when Kitty had admitted just how young she was when she and Piotr had initially got together. Say what you will about their age gap, but Pryde was a legal adult when they'd got started. She'd been just fourteen when she and Rasputin first got together, and Pete had been furious at the other man, who had been nearly twenty.

He sips more coffee. "And if you never bothered to really get to know each other as adults, it's not wonder this hasn't worked out with the two of you. He still sees you as 'his Katya' which isn't healthy. You're an adult now. You're complete different people."

He stays silent for a long moment, glancing at her. "As for you an' me...I..." he looks away from her again, rubbing at his hair. "Look, I only ever wanted you to be happy. That meant letting you be you. To say nothing of the fact that I-"

He stops.

Out of all the things she needs to hear right now, how he feels about her probably isn't one of them. She's already going through enough without him adding more bullshit to an already large dumpster fire. He's also not at all ready to admit to her that despite having gotten on with things, he's never quite gotten over her properly.

In the same breath, the last thing he needs is to be her bloody rebound.

"Anyway."

Edited 2018-09-24 15:15 (UTC)

"I was thirteen and a half and Piotr was nineteen when we met. We didn't start dating until after I was fifteen. But then he met someone and was immediately smitten. Had a child with her." She smiles awkwardly. "I know this was never the best relationship. I think I kept trying because of the history too." She raises an eyebrow. "And just for the record: Piotr and I didn't have sex until after you and I slept together." Even twenty-one to her fifteen, she knew that she was being taken advantage of. Maybe not intentionally, though she couldn't say for sure either.

"We tended to go along with how we had a history together and were more or less comfortable with one another."

She nods. "And you let me go when you thought that was what I wanted too. No, I get it. You've always let me make my own choices and didn't try to steer me into ones that you thought were best for me." She takes another sip of her tea.

"This time, I would like to let Piotr go. He's on leave in Russia at the moment. No idea when he'll be back."

She starts to smile again. "Do you know why I like having you around, Pete? You make my life simple. As crazy as my life has been, and as crazy as I know yours has been, I never felt the weight of the world on my shoulders around you. I think I was trying to capture that feeling with Piotr--give to him what you have given so effortlessly to me. And yet, that isn't who he is, nor do I think who he wants to be. His idea of simple living is vastly different from mine." But hers and Wisdom's seemed compatible.

"Even if you didn't have sex, you were too young, and he knew it," Pete grumbles into his coffee cup. "No way in hell he didn't."

He grins at little at her as he sets his cup down and lets the waiter set down their food, nodding his thanks, before turning back to Kitty. "Look, I'll be honest. I had no idea what was best for you. I'm fair certain it wasn't me, though. Most days, I don't even know what's best for me, not that that's a shock to you."

He digs into his eggs, letting them run into his home fries, before taking a big forkful and chewing. "As for 'simple,' I don't know if anything about your lives - or mine for that matter - was ever simple. I just...you X-People. You tend to dramatize and catastrophize everything, and there's no need, aye?"

He takes another bite, and then another sip of coffee. "It might be a very British way of looking at things, but life's gonna keep rolling along no matter what we do or don't do. You just sort of get on with it, best you can."

He grins at her again. "And you have, I think. Maybe the Rasputin thing is a mess, yeah, but...you're doin' a'right. You're gonna be fine."

"Of course he knew it. But fifteen year old me was persistent as ever. The whole affair has been rather juvenile. I don't think the taking advantage of was completely one-sided, me being a minor or not. Especially in the years that followed."

She shrugs. "I wouldn't say that. You always made my life more interesting and caused me to smile or start laughing. Or get pissed off or annoyed. I consider those things simple because they're very human. With all of the UK's other prejudices, the overall acceptance of mutants and altered humans there is much better than what happens here. Even with Excalibur, I felt like a person who was living her life. I didn't have to continually go out of my way to prove my ability to live a normal life." Being sanctioned by the government helped, of course. The X-Men at many times have been outlaws.

She watches Pete and picks up her tea and takes a long sip. "I'm not suggesting to you to be the rebound, but having you back in my life on a semi regular basis would be nice."

"You know, if you miss Blighty, there's always a spot on my team with your name on it. Meggan'd be through the roof to have you around. Alistaire and Brian, too..."

He sips his own coffee, lifting an eyebrow. "Good. Because, if I'm honest, the last thing I can handle is being your rebound. I've got enough problems back home between work and my bloody family." He takes a breath. "But I have missed you."

It's an understatement, and he's probably just getting himself into more and more trouble with all of this; with her being in a vulnerable emotional state.

He eats more, going quiet, wondering where the hell any of this is going, and just how many dirty looks he'll get when they get to the school, or if he should just turn around and go home.

"I do. I really do. And it's so very tempting. I might." She nods. "I might just take you up on it. Leading the X-Men isn't what I had hoped. It feels more like I am taking up a task that nobody else wants anymore. And maybe that's for the best. Maybe..." she shrugs again and waves the waiter over for a refill of her tea.

"I know," she says, looking back at him. "And I would never put you in that position. "And I figured you did. Calling me, checking on me, even coming all of the way out here? You still care about me." She begins to pick at her toast and eggs. "And I'm not taking you away from anyone, am I?"

"I bet you're good at it though," Pete says. "Leadin' the X-Men, keepin' 'em in line, I bet you're brilliant."

"Nah, there's no one right now." He gazes at her, setting his fork down. "D'you know what, though? I have an idea."

He's going to regret this.

He's going to regret this a lot and he doesn't care, because-.

Well.

"I think we should head back to the school, you should leave the Blue Elf in charge, pack a bag, and come back with me for a while, cuz I think you need a break from all this bollocks."

"I am. We're making a difference. We're inspiring people--which is great. The main idea I want to convey is that we have gifts that can be of service to people and shouldn't be immediately taken as a threat. I've had varying levels of success with that."

When he tells her that there isn't anyone else, her smile brightens a touch.

"Oh goodness, I can definitely use a break." And it wasn't like she wouldn't be among her friends and family. Brian, Meggan, even Alistaire she had known for years. These were the people who had been there during her late teens and early adulthood. Completely different environment.

"And if Kurt doesn't want it, Ororo is there too. It's not like I won't be leaving the X-Men in the best of hands." She nods and adds cream and sugar to her second cup of tea. "Yeah. Let's do this."

He snorts. "Did you just 'goodness' me?" he teases. "Blimey, Pryde, I hadn't realized being leader of the X-Men meant you couldn't swear. Mind you, Scott Summers, so I shoulda guessed."

He grins widely when she says yes.

This is a terrible idea.

But he's not at all mad at it. Or himself.

He probably should be though.

He should be terrified of this. He should not at all being doing any of this. And he knows that when he tells Lady Jac, she's going to give him That Look. That Look that says "Oh, Peter, no."

"Right. Lemme just..." he fishes his phone out of his trousers. "I'll call home, let everyone know to expect you, an' I'm sure The Braddocks would kill us both if you didn't stay at the Lighthouse with them."

"I did just 'goodness' me," she laughs and rolls her eyes. "You know, all of the impressionable minds that are in my charge."

While everyone probably wasn't going to like her taking a leave, they would at least be supportive of it, even with present company. Though the one to really say something about it would be Gambit, which would be the most amusing of it. From what she had gathered, he still owed Pete a favor.

"Perhaps. But if the offer was out there, the space available, I wouldn't mind staying over at your place since I think there's a good chance I'm going to be finding my way there anyway." What was this about not being a rebound? She also knew Pete and herself well enough to know that it's hard to keep her hands off of him if she's around him for very long.

Edited 2018-09-24 17:32 (UTC)

He shakes his head at her, giving her a pained look. "Bloody dangerous. That's what you are, Pryde. A hazard to my sodding health."

He blows out a breath and rubs his eyes. "There's a guest room at my flat. Not that you should be taking it. Not that I should be letting you. You should be...I dunno. Havin' girl nights with Meggan an' heartfelt conversations with Braddock."

Kitty Pryde in the room next to his is the worst idea, because he'll never get any bloody sleep, but still, he just can't say no to her.

"True, but I also pull your ass from the fire," she states with a smile.

"You know I can have those and still stay with you. Getting drunk was always the most fun with you, and something I don't plan to subject Brian to given his sobriety." Her eyes are doing that mischievous twinkling they always did when they were adventuring together. "I promise it'll be fun and this isn't something either one of us will regret."

He watches her for a long, quiet moment. "Regret's not what I'm worried about."

He shakes his head. "Right. Let's stop by that school of yours, and then get out of here, aye?"

She smiles softly. "What are you worried about, Peter?"

Now it's her turn to listen.

He freezes and stares at her for a long moment.

He can't actually tell her the truth.

He's worried about so many damn things.

That he'll get used to having her around.

That He'll fall in love with her all over again.

That When she leaves (because she will, and rightfully so), his life will be quiet and just this side of too cold.

That all he'll have is his job, a father suffering from Alzheimer, and a sister who is, on her best day, a nutter, and on her worst, dangerous.

That he's fooling himself to think she would ever choose to stay with him.

"That you'll hog the bathroom," he deadpans, before getting up. "Come on."

She finishes her meal and her tea and smiles and shakes her head. "I think I should be asking what aren't you worried about." The look on his face spoke volumes.

She stands up and offers him her hand.

Edited 2018-09-24 19:19 (UTC)

He takes her hand, and moseys toward the exit with her.

"You getting along with the team," he tells her. "That's a given."

His shoulders untense a little as the subject changes, relieved to be moving on.

He smirks at her. "So. How badly do you think your x-people will take my carting you off to England? Cuz I tell you, Pryde, me ribs are not what they used to be. I don't know if they can handle another beating."

"It helps that the ones who know me already think of me as family." Meg and Brian adored her.

"They will think I've lost it, but they know I need to get away when things get personally tense for me. They'll be surprised that I'm going off with you. They aren't going to lay a hand on you." She kisses him on the cheek, unlocks the door, and gets into the car.

He gets into the passenger's seat and sits back, the jet lag hitting him a bit. He regrets not drinking more coffee, but it can't be helped now.

He glances at Kitty as she drives, and takes the opportunity to clock the changes. Her hair is shorter, and her eyes are more tired. She looks older, but more beautiful, which isn't an incredible shock to him.

She's just as muscular as ever; short and lithe (and bloody perfect and that's enough of that).

He knows he's changed as well. A bit more weathered, but he's a little less wirey than he was, and a little healthier since he's (mostly) kicked the cigarette habit and let Braddock talk him into some exercise.

They've both changed; they've both grown up.

It's another half an hour to the Mansion. As she promised, there it is on the edge of Central Park.

"Yana helped me get it here," she chuckles and parks the car. "It cost us a fortune in taxes, but well worth it in the long run."

She's admiring him as they go to the front door. He's broader than he used to be. A little bit of gray in his hair. His eyes are still one of her favourite features. They seem to be as expressive as ever.

Kitty doesn't bother opening the door but takes Pete by the hand and pulls him inside.

Edited 2018-09-24 20:15 (UTC)

He lets her, stepping inside.

"Yep. That still feels a bit weird," he says, grinning wryly, before looking around at the enormous front hall.

"Y'know, I never actually made it to the one in Westchester," he comments. "This is well nice, though." He steps aside as a pack of kids run past, obviously heading for class.

He wonders if he'll get to see Wagner before they go. He always liked their former team leader. Yes, blue, fuzzy and vaguely demonic looking, but level-headed and kind, too. And a great drinking buddy.

"So," Pete says. "Let's get you packed, aye?"

She laughs. "I always love the expression you make when you're intangible."

She glanced up and takes his hand again. "Here we go." She walks up on air as if there are invisible stairs, taking him up three levels. "We've rebuilt it a lot of times over the years. I think most of the student body likes being here. We're not too far from the Central Park Zoo." She leads him to the door to her room and this one she opens and leads him inside. It's tastefully decorated and Spartan. No sign of Piotr's touch at all.

She opens her closet and begins taking out luggage. Then she looks back at him. "How long should I tell them that I'm staying in England?"

"I hate to admit it, but I probably woulda loved goin' here as a kid," he says. "Then again, the staff probably woulda hated me. Wasn't exactly a joiner."

He leans on the door jam, crossing his arms and watching her, glancing around nice, but sparse room. It's nothing like the homey way she'd decorated her room on Muir, and it speaks to her comfort level.

Or to how much she's changed. He's not sure which.

"That's up to you, Pryde," he tells her. "However long you wanna stay is fine by me."

"It wasn't like this now. I was the first student after the second wave, with Piotr, Ororo, Kurt. I was first with the adults and then got saddled with the kids. I hated that." She nods and pulls out give suitcases and begins finding clothes, books, and various nick knacks to pack.

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